I dream of a world where sex is not taboo in any form, fashion, or permutation; where the human body is seen as a glorious, transcendental creation containing both the grime and corruption of the natural world and the sublime divinity of the Universal Collective.

I dream of a world where my daughters can openly express, openly own, and openly celebrate their sexuality without ridicule, shame, or fear; where sex is an open and honest activity done for love, for laughs, for fun, for connection.

I believe with all my being that the cultural and societal parameters we, as a species have placed on sex can be found at the root of almost every single issue we face today in this oh so modern world where images of consenting adults having sex are readily available, and equally shunned or lauded, depending upon cultural beliefs, religious upbringings, or ones own dysfunctional relationship with the sex act. The human body displayed in an artistic manner for advertising purposes is considered  not OK. But your barely pubescent daughters wearing shorts that reveal the curve of their ass is fine. After all, that is the STYLE.

Rape, homophobia, hate, all have the same thing in common with issues like orgasmic dysfunction, Madonna-Whore syndrome, and a host of other concerns that cannot be discussed in polite company because it makes everyone uncomfortable.

Words like clitoris, vagina, semen still make young boys giggle and girls squirm in embarrassment.

Mothers are unwilling to discuss the exact use of tampons with their daughters who shudder in disgust at the idea of inserting their own fingers into their own bodies.

Pictures of double mastectomy breast cancer survivors are considered lude and too graphic.

Grown men still think it manly and appropriate to use the word “faggot” with the full thrust of everything that word has come to mean.

“Rape culture” is a real thing and the world is protecting those that perpetuate it.

Priests molest babies and get a lifetime sentence of repose and reflection in a paradise location.

Women who have had multiple partners are sluts while men who do the same are studs.

All of this, ALL of it is because we have missed the mark regarding sex and the human soul.

And I am dead tired of it.

I lived far too many years of my life fighting a losing battle against guilt every time I masturbated. Every time I made love. Every time I wanted more in bed. Every time I saw the photoshopped image of the “perfect” female body and thought I had not worked hard enough or deprived myself seriously enough to make my hip bones jut out as sharply as hers.

Have sex. Enjoy it. Be safe. Choose partners that respect themselves, and respect YOU. Be vocal about your needs and wants in the bedroom and in life. Celebrate the differences in our bodies.

Learn to see beauty in imperfection. Lose your understanding of the word “imperfection.” Delete it from your vocabulary, because it requires¬†comparison, and comparison is unnecessary in this area of the human experience.

 

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