I am pulling my FREAKING hair out with frustration toward complete and total strangers. Internet strangers no less. But OH MY GOSH. This madness has GOT to stop.
First up, this little gem over at BlogHer. Which, btw I have “unliked” on Facebook. This was not the only ridiculous piece of bullshit that led up to my leaving that community, but it was certainly the last.
Forgive me for completely forgetting the other several blog posts that were so asinine I simply couldn’t put them in the hard drive. They were basically just horrid women spouting completely illogical, half baked crap that should never have seen the light of day. Seriously, BlogHer, whither the editors? This one, to give you the short of it, was a woman angrily telling a “fitspiration” model to shut the hell up with her “What’s Your Excuse” meme pictured here: (Of interest: Maria Klang has 174K likes on her Facebook page. BlogHer has 34K. *smirk*)
Anyhoodle, I digress. So the point of this blog can be best understood by my reply to it, which I made in a comment that from what I can tell, didn’t actually post properly. So I copied and pasted it here:
This author has so completely missed the point of so much that I am (not for the first time) considering unsubscribing from this pestilential mine field of pathetic called “BlogHer.”
UGH! Just to touch on two (because I will BARF if I have to pick every logical fallacy a part here in a comment.)
1: “Love yourself, love your life, job, fitness level, etc. But don’t preach it to people who didn’t ask to hear it.”
The woman who is a “fitspiration” person posted the image where? On her Facebook page. HER. Meaning, ownership. The fact that it went viral, does not mean she is “preaching to people who didn’t ask to hear it.” It means that, before all these sensitive ninnies decided to be offended and pick it apart, it resonated with enough people that they felt the need to share the “fitspiration.” If everyone wants to focus on the whole “my life sucks compared to yours” mindset, then fine. DO it. Comment. And stay stuck in your angry, dark, depressing little holes. But her INTENDED message is 100% true and real for everyone, and is as follows:
****No matter WHAT your life is like, there is someone with tougher circumstances managing to get around to doing the very things you claim you don’t have the time/resources/energy to do. So either own the fact that you simply have not prioritized the thing you wish you were doing (like getting fit) or rearrange said priorities.***
That is ALL she means. She is not saying that everyone is in the same situation as she.
The big thing to remember here is that it is OK to prioritize time with your children (or time spent at that 2nd job) over working out when that is where your life is. Just like it is OK for Kang to prioritize her body maintenance over whatever SHE is giving up like…oh I don’t know, day time soaps and ice cream. And she isn’t saying that it’s NOT OK.
2: “Okay, so this is what’s known in the business (the business being the internet, of course) as a fauxpology. And she doesn’t even try very hard. This right here? “What you interpret is not MY fault. It’s Yours.” No. Just no. Words mean things. Interpretations are not pulled out of the blue. They are based on societal frameworks set in place long before Maria Kang got herself a “fitspiration”FB page.”
Oh. My. GOD. Are you serious? THIS attitude RIGHT HERE is the number one thing plaguing relationships of all kinds in the world today. Everyone chooses to put their own interpretation and meaning on the things they experience. Have you ever spoken with a lawyer? All they do is interpret laws and past experiences and spin them to best benefit their case/client. It’s called “an interpretation of the law.” And yes, one can choose various interpretations. Extreme example: Your boyfriend doesn’t respond right away to your text? You worry he must be cheating on you. In reality he was driving and, like a responsible human, he didn’t pick up the phone until he got to his destination. Yes, like I said, this is an EXTREME and overly simplified example. But it serves the illustration.
This kind of knee jerk response that “interpretation/perception is more important than intent” is akin to high school teenage drama. HOW ABSURD. Any halfwitted adult knows that every word and statement holds multiple meanings, and we can choose to interpret them any number of ways. And deciding to base your interpretations on “societal frameworks?” well, isn’t that EXACTLY what your little “positive body image project” is preaching AGAINST? We currently have in place a societal framework that dictates that skinny/strong/fit is beautiful and fat/overweight/pudgy is not. As a curvy AND fit woman, (5’6″ size 8-10) I maintain that this is not exactly a fair societal framework in which to operate.
Point being, you can’t say out of one side of your mouth that “we interpret things based on societal frameworks” and get all pissy when someone says or does something that you then judge based on those parameters, then turn around and insist we shuck those societal frameworks. If you are so hell bent on shucking convention, then why CHOOSE to interpret things based on the very conventions you are wanting to banish?
GOD! That all got my blood BOILING! Are so many people still so completely unaware that a.) your thoughts LITERALLY create your reality and b.) You are the only one deciding how to interpret experiences?!?!
The answer of course is yes, there ARE many people still living in these limiting mindsets. And now that much of my steam has been blown off I find myself in a state of eye-roll rather than my previous snarling state.
A similar issue cropped up almost immediately after this little doozy:
So Apple announced the new Macbook Pro. And Wired posted an article about it on Facebook:
And the comments were so absurd. So full of vitriol.
People are angry because it costs “so damn much.” They commented snarkily about how no one could afford it, and how they could spend half or even a fractional 7th of that amount and get “so much more processing power” etc.
OK. Fine. I get that there are people who prefer or even need the processing power that comes with these PCs they are talking about because their requirements for their job or their hobbies or whatever are different. But to scream hate and call Apple “assholes” and “Only crapple could be so fucking conceited as to think that price is worth shouting about!” [sic] and calling anyone who would buy a Mac “stupid with a bottomless pit of money.”
But here’s the thing; while thousands of people will chime in on how much they HATE Apple products, how much the HATE Apple fanboys, and how much they HATE the idiots that buy Apple products because x, y, z, blah blah blah…I really don’t know a lot of Apple buyers that care to spew anger and hate toward PCs.
Do we find their UI unwieldy? Yes. Do we find their aesthetics lacking? Absolutely. Are Apple products hands down the preferred tools in most creative industries. Undeniably. Can we typically manage to make our way around a PC anyhow? I know I can.
Are we really so angry and jaded that we have to ban together just to hate on something that some people prefer? Why not let it go with a simple “I prefer Apple” or “I prefer PC” and be done with it? We aren’t all screaming at each other about which flavor of ice cream is better with the Mint Chip crowd calling the Cookies and Cream crowd “idiots.” GAH! I can’t believe this is still a thing! Look at the rude, horrid bullshit coming from these haters!
Not to mention the ugly “I can’t afford it” attitude. Guess what? If you keep saying “I can’t afford it” then you are absolutely right. You never will. And it has nothing to do with your income or your bills or your student loan debts. Money is energy. Thoughts are energy. Words are energy. I you insist on remaining in the mindset of lack and “there is not enough” and all these negative thoughts and attitudes about money, you will find yourself creating that world.
Speak your world into existence. It’s more than a cliche. This is how the universe works.
I guess I have just had it up to my EARBALLS with negativity and people getting offended and all the gross angry yucky hateful crap everywhere.
I’ve had it with people obnoxiously spewing their political rhetoric on Facebook. I want uplifting. I want encouraging. I want PUPPIES AND ADORABLE BABIES.
And quite frankly, I have no issue with being reminded that if a mother of three can look great 8 months after #3, then I have NO EXCUSE for carrying extra weight 8 years after only ONE. I don’t think it means I am somehow less successful as a mom or as a woman. I don’t feel bad about myself because someone else managed to do something amazing! That kind of thinking comes from the culture of giving “participation trophies” to every kid that showed up and wet himself on the soccer field. I don’t belong to THAT culture. I HATE that my kids are having to grow up in it and I am doing what I can to combat that kind of “just show up and you will get the shiny prize!” crap!
That “fitspiration model” that pissed so many women off had one final thing to say on her blog:
What you interpret is not MY fault. It’s Yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. In other words, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
This is the CORE TRUTH of this experience we should all be taking from it. YOU control your happiness. It is YOUR CHOICE to take offense or not. YOU CHOOSE EVERYTHING. So quit your bitching, go buy your PC and leave the Apple people alone, get off the damn couch and hit the gym or simply OWN the fact that you would rather spend a little extra time with the kiddos (it’s really OK), put on your big girl panties, and shut your offended, angry, happiness-hatin’ pie holes. OY.